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Weird Rumblings from Bigfoot Land

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 There’s a lot of strange nonsense going on in the Bigfoot Hunters Universe lately. For starters, I just can’t watch the television show “Finding Bigfoot” anymore; I actually seem to get physically nauseous. The last time I watched for more than a few minutes was the one in which the “Squatch Hunters” bewilderingly set up a disco ball, strobe lights and loud music in the middle of nowhere hoping to coax a curious Squatch into camera range. I almost lost my lunch and never stayed tuned in to see if they were successful (I’m betting not!). 

There’s two more main threads of slightly more interest, however; first is the so-called Sierra Kills, in which a hunter (later ID’d as local redneck Justin Smeja) claimed to have shot two Bigfoot (one a juvenile) while hunting in the Sierras last June. He returned to the site a month later and, though the bodies were gone, he managed to collect a few scraps of hair and bloody tissue which he submitted to two independent DNA labs. One has come back so far clearly identifiable as being from a common black bear. The second sample, examined by veterinarian and animal DNA expert Melba Ketchum, has had its results leaked and in a press release from November 25 she stated, “Extensive DNA sequencing suggests that the legendary Sasquatch is a human relative that arose approximately 15,000 years ago as a hybrid cross of modern homo sapiens with an unknown primate species.” 

To be fair, Dr. Ketchum studied not only the “Sierra Kills” tissue samples but over 200 other hair and scat samples submitted to her lab by researchers over the past five years. 

In Russia, in September, Professor Valentin Sapunov examined reputed Yeti hair samples and came to similar conclusions, saying, “The hair came from a human-like creature which is not a homo sapiens yet is more closely related to man than a monkey.” He was 60-70 percent sure that the hairs belonged to a Yeti-like creature.

 I’ve gone to a few websites like BigfootEvidence.com and BigFootLunchClub.com and was blown away by the sheer volume and scale of the scorn, derision and ridicule heaped upon the DNA researchers. As George Knapp stated, “the BF (Bigfoot) community has been even more vicous, mostly because so many of the true believers have staked out their own turf and do not want to see a scientific interloper like Ketchum upstage or undercut public interest in the 800 or so cable television shows (so far this year) about the search for BF.”

 More DNA studies are in the works. Oxford University is also doing a Sasquatch DNA study and their results are due out this summer. The Erickson Project reportedly has managed to place a tracking device on a group of migratory Sasquatches (in either British Columbia or Kentucky according to Internet rumor) and has shot some “amazing” footage. The Erickson Project’s been gathering purported Bigfoot samples and trace evidence for years and submitting them for DNA analysis, but rumors, secrecy and intrigue surround the group. (Dr. Ketchum has verified she’s seen some “quite remarkable hi-def footage.”)

So, hopefully by this summer, we might just get some dramatic news. You can keep abreast of the Bigfoot news by checking out the websites I already mentioned or www.cryptomundo.com. 

‘til next time, keep spreading the news, Soylent Green is People! All Homage to Xena!

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Jody Forest Jody Forest When he's not hidden behind the palatial gates of his Dover estate, Casa de Bozo, Jody is out using outdated and corny pickup lines on various gullible women.

Tagged as:

Surrealist Research Bureau, Bigfoot, sasquatch, Finding Bigfoot, Sierra Kills, Melba Ketchum, Professor Valentin Sapunov, yeti, The Erickson Project

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