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I Need a Bambulance!

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    It had to have been nine or ten years ago when I hit the deer out by Hidden Lakes. It was an icy, winter day, much like we’re experiencing now, and I saw the animal at the side of the road long before I killed her. “Please,” I asked. “Please, don’t jump out in front of me.”

    She tried to overcome her suicidal impulses, but at the last minute she bounded out onto the road, which was a solid sheet of ice. She hit at the door right beside me, and I swear I heard every bone in her body crunch. I was hysterical when I called the game warden, J.J., to tell him of the dead deer I’d left in the middle of the highway. My children were calling me a killer.

    Not 15 minutes later, in that strange connection that siblings seem to have, my brother Clay called on the phone from California.

    “You’ve got to hear this,” he said. “It’s great!” and he proceeding to play for me a tape of a supposed 911 call involving a man who had hit a deer. Clay worked closely with law enforcement, and said he’d gotten the tape from a local police officer. I laughed as much over that tape as I ever have over anything.

    Seems some poor guy has hit a deer and, not wanting to waste good meat, loaded it into his car. The deer revives and is quite perturbed to find itself in the backseat of a car, and proceeds to attempt to leave. The man, injured in the attempt, is supposedly calling from a phone booth, requesting a “bambulance” to come to his rescue. The deer is still in the car and, while on the phone, the man is trying to figure out where he’s at, while also trying to cope with a dog who wants his deer.

    Some weeks later my brother Joe sent me a photocopy of the “911 call” out of a book debunking Urban Legends. The call was said to be a fake. If so, it was probably the most brilliant fake I’ve ever heard.

    Just last week, the ladies up at Keokee Publishing were talking about that same 911 telephone call– looks like the deer legend is on another pass through this area. What great timing.

    Despite being told by Joe that this call is an urban legend, when I checked out David Emery’s urban legends website  I could find no listing of it. At Snopes, it’s classified as “unresolved.”

    The information at Snopes says it’s possible this was a training call made by the Cypress Creek EMS service (to loosen up new 911 operators); a police officer in Poughkeepsie, New York, has also claimed the story is true and says he is responsible for recording it.

    Be warned, if you haven’t heard this one yet, that the story is littered with adjectives beginning with the letter “F.” (Or would that be adverbs? Guess it depends on the particular sentence.) Despite that, it is well worth tracking down a copy of it to hear. You can listen to it on the Internet here.

 

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Landon Otis

Tagged as:

deer, urban legends, bambulance

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