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Life with Clawson

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An Ode to Summer

It’s summertime, finally. Do you know how I know?

‘Cause there’s not enough time to even think about snow.

Not that I’ve wanted to, I’ve had enough

but I remember a cursin’ big piles of the stuff

Piled to the rafters and piled to the right,

it was piled to the left and all but blockin’ out the light.

There were so many piles and hard icy berms

that we swore it’d be different when winter returns.

We’d be ready fer anything, no big surprises

from Ol’ Man Winter and all he comprises.

We’ve learned our lessons on bein’ ill-prepared

for seasonal extremes, I know my ass’s been spared.

Lady luck can be with ya and sometimes agin ya

and often make you think you should’ve moved to Virginia.

For if yer not ready for winter’s big thrills

you’re liable to earn extemperaneous bills

from carpenters, plumbers and various fixer-uppers

for something as simple as not cleaning your scuppers.

You don’t have to be present to win the effects

brought on by snow’s turning our efforts to wrecks

i.e. returning from snowbirding can often be painful

when you see how nature can be so disdainful.

Is that carport you built engineered to last

or is it going to collapse ‘cause it was done half-assed?

Go stand in your driveway, wide open and spacious;

now remember early March and why it weren’t so capacious.

Where the begonias now bloom, only three months before

sat a glacier so tall it wouldn’t take any more.

On the lawn were its twin and mother and father

put there in haste by some blade or another.

The crawler you hired to move snowy mountains

wasn’t aware of your bird-feeders or high dollar fountains.

Not to mention the planters and hydrants and assorted decorations

or even those implements from previous generations.

And the waterfall you barely finished last August,

under hardpack and crawler, it simply went bust.

Whether you get rid of the problem or just choose to store it,

it’s a fact of life here, there’s nothing you can take for it.

Remember the greenhouse under four feet of snow

and the way studs look when they’re ready to blow.

Corrugated fiberglass is remarkably strong

but makin’ it hold that much is just plain wrong.

There’s lots to consider. Here’s a short list

of items to check on that you may already have missed.

How is your roof doin’ after all that torturin’?

Do the vents and valleys and the gutters need nurturin’?

Goin’ into summer, it’s hard to think about winter.

The effect on the mood is like a stubborn ol’ sliver.

Here’s a warnin’ of sorts, treat it how you will:

Think about winter now, before you get the bill.

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Author info

Scott Clawson Scott Clawson No, he's not the electrician, he's the OTHER Scott Clawson, who's a quality builder when he's not busy busting a gut while writing his humor column for the first issue of each month, or drawing his Acres n' Pains cartoons.

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