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Politically incorrect warning - Boots makes fun of fat people

I don’t know what ugly is but I know it when I see it! And I saw it the other day in a family store where food was being served. This lady, ( I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt on that) was leaning over the counter trying to hold a conversation with the proprietor, who was trying to wait on customers. Now, we all know that a beer gut and a plumber’s crack have been long-standing jokes on men for some time and are always good for a laugh. But, to suddenly see this on a woman this close to where food was being served impacted my desire to eat anything that might be served over the counter there.

“Do you see…?”

“Shut up,” Lovie said. “Yes, I can see. Everyone in here can see!”

Here was a woman who enjoyed the sixties way too much and apparently that lifestyle was hard to give up, especially the part about getting “the munches.” She had long gray hair that hung down her back and covered her shoulders. From all the skin we could see from behind, which there was plenty, it looked clean, white and shiny. At least she had taken up bathing.

Her blouse was open in the back, tied with a string for easy access as well as expansion of which there was little room for. It was also too short to cover up the parts of the anatomy least attractive. The love handles on her hips had long been replaced by sugar buns too large to get a hold of. These were highlighted by the tightness of her undersized jean shorts that were being forced down by her hips as well as her stomach. The crack in the back looked like two major highways merging in a deep canyon. All of this was accentuated by her leaning on the counter to relive the stress on her back and being braless kept the wrinkles pulled from her face while she rattled on incoherently to the lady trying to work the counter.

Another lady asked me if I would get the door for her as she was trying to cover the eyes of her small children in her haste to exit the store.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. He’s making fun of fat people! Well, yes I am. We have made fun of fat people since the beginning of time. Every school had a fat kid called, are you ready for this?, “Fatso.” In fact, one kid I knew grew out of his weight problem but not his name. Today he owns “Fatso’s Used Car Lot” in Duncan, Oklahoma. And I still don’t know what his real name is. At graduation the principal called out this name and everyone looked puzzled and no one got up. Then he said, “Fatso?” and everyone applauded. He had forgotten his own name!

Grandparents are supposed to be fat and jolly. Grandma, from tasting all that wonderful food she has cooked over the years and Grandpa from eatin’ it. Fat babies are always cute, but usually grow out of it when they get on solid food and off of their mother’s milk. It is easy to see how the overweight America began.

 Another reason for our weight gain was the unions. Up until they took over the working class worked from sunup until sundown, except for farmers and ranchers, who worked from daylight ‘til dark. After the unions got us on eight hour work days, that meant we had an extra eight hours for leisure, except for farmers and ranchers who still worked from daylight ‘til dark. With all the mechanized inventions taking over, the work load in factories as well as the home, it was just a matter of time until bending our elbow was the most exercise we were getting. Of course, every time our elbow bent, our mouth opened like a baby bird and we had to stuff something in it. We have gotten down to where the only part of our body that still does any work is our digestive system.

Fat people have become so prevalent in this country it’s no longer funny. You can only laugh at fat people until they reach a certain weight. After that point they become obese and that has been classified as a disease so you can’t laugh at sick people. But up to that point they’re fair game.

I understand the doctors are handing out I.D .signs to be worn around the neck like a handicapped sticker to identify the obese from just the fat people. I think they should make them for us grandparents as well.

I have been asked by many people where I get my models for my cartoons and I tell them at the Wal Mart parking lot. It used to be called Wally World, but in recent years that’s been changed to Waddle World. They are even putting in obese parking along with the handicapped, except the obese have a bigger parking spot. One big box store now runs trolleys through the parking lot to pick up and deliver people to their cars.

If you notice, it’s not just our bodies that are becoming overweight. Americans have become the biggest bunch of fat heads on earth. If you’re gonna lay on the couch eating bonbons you should learn a new language, Chinese!

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Boots Reynolds Boots Reynolds The "internationally-renowned cowboy artist" Boots Reynolds has moved his comedic interpretation of life into the writing field with his regular column in the River Journal - From the Mouth of the River.

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