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The Blight Before Christmas

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The Blight Before Christmas

‘Twas the week before Christmas when all through the land

all the creatures were scurrying like a one man band.

With the days getting shorter and the ‘big one’ close at hand,

the average consumer was in debt ten grand.

But all was okay for it’s well understood

that salvation only comes when the economy’s good.

And to prove that ‘Trickle-Down’ works as well as it should 

they were all asked to spend what they possibly could.

“Just follow your leaders”, was the message being sent,  

“and don’t fret the details of a deficit lent.

This is far more important than groceries or rent   

or any speck of savings you haven’t yet spent.”

Their eyes how they twinkled with smiles so bright    

in commercials so tailored that you’ll not even fight   

to keep the meaning of Christmas in its original light,   

with the love and good feelings we once held so tight.

Like way back when, in the dimly lit past,    

it was considered enough and not get harassed   

for just sharing some goodies and a grateful repast    

with close friends and family who occasionally got gassed.

There was music and games and light conversations   

with nibbles and dribbles and laughter an’ elations,   

without talk of hatred or unsavory castigations   

like wantin’ to put Congress on some kind of probations. 

For politics and rhetoric don’t belong here in the least   

and neither does wanderin’ around gettin’ fleeced

or getting your debt ceiling somehow increased 

so you can leverage yourself and really get greased!   

So invite all your friends to go along with this plan

and even some members of yer own silly clan. 

Make sure they understand, any way that you can,  

no presents are necessary, just something in a pan.

Or a bottle, bowl, basket or platter

so long as it’s tasty, the rest doesn’t matter.

People seem to smile while they’re gettin’ fatter.

‘Tis a day for feasting, tell your diet to scatter.

When there’s plenty to go ‘round, then no one need fret

about anything profound like credit card debt.

So bring them together by car, train or jet

and hopefully they’ll all have the proper mind set

to just have a good time eatin’ and yackin’ 

and listnin’ to stories about slackin’ or frackin’,

whackin’ bracken or even lackin’ some backin’

all the while concentratin’ on slurpin’ and snackin’.

This may sound confusing or even preposterous.

You may even think I’m an improbable cuss

for implying we shouldn’t be this superfluous

and return to the ways that actually foster us.

So just as you gather to carve up the roast

 and celebrate life with those you like most

try raising a glass and giving a toast 

to Our Father, His Son and the Holy Ghost.

 

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Author info

Scott Clawson Scott Clawson No, he's not the electrician, he's the OTHER Scott Clawson, who's a quality builder when he's not busy busting a gut while writing his humor column for the first issue of each month, or drawing his Acres n' Pains cartoons.

Tagged as:

Christmas, shopping, economy

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