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The Truth About the End of the World

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The Truth About the End of the World

From the Mouth of the River

Well, Winter finely came yesterday. It didn’t stay, as it was just passing through and was last seen on a buffalo’s butt in Wolf Point, Montana.   

We, on the other hand, got a dusting of about an inch or so. Just enough to entice ten or twelve head of mountain camels to come in and munch on our hay stacks. 

I am writing this article early in the month because the Mayan calendar claims the world is coming to an end this year, and I don’t want to miss it. Actually, I’ve been told by our Republican front runners that it will just be a polar switch. That’s why Mitt Romney is hanging on to his Mexican heritage, as he is planning on moving the White House a hundred and fifty miles south of the Mexican border when he becomes president. Besides, the Mexicans know how to work with adobe and the new white house will take on the look of the Alamo. 

Everything east of the Mississippi will fall into the ocean and will become another Atlantis. The west coast will become another Disney Water Park as only the highest of the high buildings will appear above the water, like the tower in Seattle. Idaho will become another Arizona and after all the dead timber is cut off we can raise gardens everywhere and the snow birds won’t even have to leave home. Lake Pend Oreille will overflow into the Coeur d’Alene, taking out the city and leaving another national park with lost submarines to explore.

The Spokane River will reach the height of the clock tower, and the surviving realtors will have oceanfront property for sale. Everyone will have plenty of work to do on clean up and construction of new homes and hauling dead bodies to Yellowstone and Glacier Park for the bears to clean up. All of Congress will be washed out to sea and all their off shore money will be returned to pay for the new Mexican White House. 

Record books will be rewritten on sharks when caught just off shore, high centered and beached with their stomachs blotted with Congressmen. All the nuclear and hazardous waste shipped out of Houston and Galveston on oil tankers after unloading their oil, will wash back up and destroy the Gulf Coast. 

The bankers and money hogs stuck in the tops of their high rises in New York City will be willing to pay whatever it costs to get the street people to save them, or at least replenish their vending machines. Independence Day will have a new date and I can’t wait to see whose birthday it falls on.


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Author info

Boots Reynolds Boots Reynolds The "internationally-renowned cowboy artist" Boots Reynolds has moved his comedic interpretation of life into the writing field with his regular column in the River Journal - From the Mouth of the River.

Tagged as:

winter, apocalypse, From the Mouth of the River, End of the World, Mayan calendar

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